Check in with yourself to see how you’re doing: How are you doing on the surface, and how are you really doing deep down?

“How am I doing? Oh I’m fine. Yeah things are going pretty well actually.”

Often times that’s true. I’m not lying about it. But there’s a lot that is left unsaid here too.

“There are elements of being perfectly fine and content where I am and how things are going at present. But, if you really want to know? I can open up and share some of the deeper questions and conflicts I’m wrestling with.”

How is that for being honest?

Something that I’ve learned over the past few years is that communication is key. I’m serious. It’s so SO important. Especially to a solid marriage and partnership.

I do this thing where I’ll omit certain parts of a story. I won’t communicate some of the minutiae (so I think) about an interaction or a conversation. Thinking that those details are not important, they’re not relevant, and just drag out the story…why bring it up.

Eventually, something points to that exact omission and I’m regretting having not mentioned it.

My wife gets on me about how getting information about things is like pulling teeth. I cannot candidly talk about something and share all of the details. There is ALWAYS something missing or not mentioned. And that, may not be consequential to me at the time, but is a key component to someone else.

Work on communication. Talk about what’s going on with yourself. Be honest about what’s going with yourself. You’re doing yourself and everyone around you a favor.

You have to admit you have a problem before you fix it.

I am a poor communicator. Time to fix it.